I've always been a little bit of a perfectionist. (Quit laughing, honey.) It doesn't manifest itself everywhere, and I certainly make no claims to be perfect, but... for as long as I can remember, the quest to get myself as close to perfect as possible has pretty much overtaken my life. And any "failure" of any sort (I remember myself claiming that a B on a Calculus test was "practically failing!") was devastating.
Now, my sweet parents and now my husband have done nothing to impose these expectations on me. I've just always been a bit of a stinker with my own expectations. For the most part, these perfectionist expectations have served me well. I did really great in school, for example, as a result. But at other times, they've been rather paralyzing.
Since I hate to fail so dadgum much, I hate to try anything that I think I might fail at. And I get totally intimidated by new things and new skills.
But in an attempt to start this new year off right, I'm getting over it. Or trying. See, my sweet husband got me a sewing machine for Christmas and I am totally excited to try it out. But the one and only time I've ever used a sewing machine was when I was eight and made a patchwork doll quilt for a school project. Knowing this, Michael also got me all manner of really wonderful guidebooks that are really like a 101 course in sewing.
So here's the thing... I'm not even going to sew it right when I try it. I'll probably jam it up and sew crooked and ruin my fabric. But I have to keep telling myself: it's not rocket science. If I can just remind myself that gazillions of women all around the world use a sewing machine successfully (and I was one of them, at eight no less!)... well, surely I can (eventually) sew a straight seam and maybe even a few projects as well!
So hopefully, if all goes well with bedtime tonight, I'll be sewing my first seams today! Hooray!