After two hours, we finally got it to make its first stitch.
I say "we", because after about an hour and a half of wanting to throw the bobbin out the window, I called in Michael. He fixed it in about 15 minutes.
But then I spent an hour trying to get the tension just right. I am convinced it is not possible, at least not tonight.
But hey, I have about forty-seven pretty black and white seams on hot pink fabric. Which is more than I had at 7:15 this evening.