Can I just be real here?
Friends, I am tired. I feel like a broken record here, but I also feel like it's dishonest not to talk about it. Last night as I hurled myself out of bed for the third or fourth time, I remember thinking that it will probably be ten years (or more) before I get a real night's sleep again, and that I ought to get used to it. But I'm learning that I am a pretty miserable creature after a few nights of interrupted sleep.
I think it's all in the expectations. When there's a newborn in the house, you know you're going to be up all night. And you exist in survival mode, doing basically nothing but feed the baby. You get a free pass on housecleaning, meal making, and all the other normal stuff for at least a few weeks -- when the sleep is really, really bad. And then you sort of get used to getting up once or twice a night, and it's not that big of a deal. You slowly start adding things back in, until finally your baby sleeps through the night... and you remember what it was like to wake up feeling rested. After that, you can start to expect things to get back to normal.
Which is how things went for us. Nora eventually started sleeping through the night at around ten weeks, and she did beautifully until the last week of January. And then with RSV and a growth spurt back to back... something regressed. She's been waking frequently, and she's even gone back to needing to eat again. I can't seem to persuade her to eat cereal, and her liquid consumption during the day just isn't cutting it. We've settled into a vicious cycle of not eating enough during the day and then making up for that during the night. Nora and I had a nice little heart to heart today about needing to buck up and eat better, or I'm going to have to listen to her cry at night... and I totally don't want to go there. I'm all about feeding her if she's hungry, but we've got to break this cycle somehow!
I think the most frustrating thing is that we know that Nora is capable of sleeping through the night. She did it for six weeks, no problem. And last week, when I took her to the pediatrician for her checkup, she had slept through the night for something like three days in a row that week. So I know it's not beyond our reach! But y'all. This not sleeping thing is killing me. It is a total gift from God that Mops will be here tomorrow, because Mops has this strange penchant for being up at weird hours in the night anyway... and if she gets to be awake with a baby, that's practically heaven on earth for her.
But seriously. Even without sleep, I am in love with this little cutie.
Doesn't she look so big?