Seriously?

I feel like I'm wasting a miracle here.

Phoebe and Nora have both been asleep for two hours. At the same time. Peacefully. As in, there have been no noises in this house for two whole hours. Nobody needed to be fed, held, or read to.

As soon as I realized that Nora was down, and that Phoebe would be for at least another hour or so, I grabbed a blanket and a pillow and hit the couch.

Y'all.

I couldn't fall asleep.

How is this possible? I am exhausted. I am up at least twice a night for at least thirty minutes (but usually closer to forty-five) at each stretch. I go, nonstop, from about 6:30am to 8:00pm. Seriously, if anybody could nap, it would be me. But I laid (lay? lain?) on the couch for thirty full minutes before throwing in the towel. What a bummer!

Fortunately, I have still remained snuggled up in my blanket for the duration. That's gotta count, right?

Emerging

First, let me say that my intentions are good here. I keep having these thoughts that I want to write down, pictures I want to post, and all of that... but there are bottles to be washed (multiple times a day), children to feed, laundry to clean, and all kinds of other responsibilities that I'm starting to add back in to my life.


This weekend was one of emerging. As in, getting out. Of the house. It was important to me that I start doing this. The cabin fever was really beginning to set in, and I was feeling myself on the verge of total breakdown. Another important thing to me was getting back to doing normal things with Phoebe, and that does include the occasional trip out of the house.

So we started with the pumpkin patch. In spite of some middle-of-the-night festivities Friday night, we downed some coffee early Saturday morning and hit the road. We weren't sure how much fun Phoebs would have, and we just hoped that Nora would be content in the wrap for a couple of hours; we shouldn't have worried. Everyone had a blast! Phoebe loved the wide open spaces, and had a blast helping pick out a pumpkin. And Nora was content to snuggle Mommy for a couple of hours. Daddy was thrilled to dine on a funnel cake, and I was beside myself just doing something normal.


Sunday morning, we emerged again -- this time, to church. We're being more careful with Nora than we were with Phoebe, since it's flu season and we don't want to head back to Children's. Still, we were able to find a spot in the balcony and enjoy worship and fellowship. It was so good to be back in church. We also had LIFE group at our house again last night, and it was really wonderful to connect again. I think one of the most frustrating things these past few weeks has been the isolation I've felt.

And then today, we emerged... this time without the help of Michael. I had tried last week to take the girls to the grocery store, and we didn't get out of the parking lot. Today, the grocery trip was non-negotiable. Determined to get back to normal and to just do it, we survived our first grocery trip. I struggled with the wrap, so I meandered the aisles with one hand on Nora's bottom and one hand on the cart... but we made it. I totally bought Phoebe a grocery store board book as a treat. It felt good just to get through that first time.

We're continuing to adjust, and every day is bringing new challenges. But I'm hoping that sooner or later, we'll emerge into a state of "normal". It gets a little easier every day!

Updates on the Girls

I am still amazed that I have girls. As in, more than one. What miraculous little blessings they are! (They are even more miraculous when they are both sleeping, as they are now.) I have so many thoughts rattling around in my brain about all of this... but I have got to get down some updates on these girls, lest I totally forget them.

Phoebe's 19-month day was last week (the 14th). This is belated, but I wanted to post a few things that she's up to these days. Now that there are two, it'll be even easier for me to forget! Phoebe is...

• saying a few more words, irregularly, but at least occasionally. Some highlights for this month include "Reeces" (oh yes, the most practical word we can think of these days) and "butterfly". Phoebs is often frustrated, not able to express herself verbally; we are trusting God's perfect timing for her words to come. We are also still praying for 20 consistent words by 21 months.
  
• loving to count things by pointing (Mommy does the counting). She loves to count pictures, snacks, etc.
  
• signing the answers to questions #1 and 2 in the Catechism for Young Children.
• testing boundaries all over the place, learning what is acceptable and what is not.
  
• outside as much as we'll let her be... the second she gets shoes on, she wants to head out the door.
  
• dipping her food (ranch dressing, ketchup, and sweet and sour sauce) and becoming more adventurous with what she will eat. Her appetite seems to be decreasing, but she continues to try more and more foods. Just today, she ate a banana dunked in sweet and sour sauce. Nice.
• getting used to her little sister. She loves to check Nora's crib, say "shh!" with a finger up to her mouth, and touch her blankies. She is still uncertain about kissing her, or touching her... but she's certainly interested in her! (We've only been home from Children's a week... I imagine she'll fall more and more in love the longer we're home.)
• loving Little Critter books, Clifford, and more... she's becoming less particular about the books that we read, and is tolerating longer stories more frequently. She loves to cuddle during story time.

Nora also went to the doctor today for her two week checkup. (This was a well baby check-up.) Here are her stats:

• 6 pounds, 11 ounces (hooray! That's a gain of 13 ounces since last Friday!)
• 20 1/4 inches long
• 14 inches head circumference

The doctor was pleased with her growth, and says that we're in the clear until her two month checkup. We are praying that we stay illness free in this cold and flu season. My plan is to keep her under wraps (literally) when we have to go out. A few more things about Nora...

• she eats every 2-3 hours, and switched to soy formula on Sunday. She is eating much better with much less discomfort now.
  
• She is beginning to focus on faces
• She seems to be a very content baby, but she particularly likes to cuddle. (We don't mind!)
• She is beginning to have a few more periods of "awake" during the day where she is very happy and alert, sometimes for an hour at a time.
  

Finally, we've had fun comparing the "looks" of the two girls. Although Nora has a head full of dark hair, she and Phoebe still look a lot alike. We think they have the same mouth and nose; we'll just have to see as they get bigger!
What do you think?

When All Else Fails

The original plan had been to nap right now, but Nora seems to want to snuggle. Actually, I should say that she wanted to snuggle. But now she's content to nap on the couch right here next to me. How the couch is better than the crib is beyond me, but at this point, the nap is the goal... right? Right? Anyway, I'm afraid that I'd squash her if I snuggled up next to her. So obviously, writing on here is the next best option.

Today has been a better day. I haven't cried yet, and both Phoebe and Nora have seemed more settled. We also slept better last night -- Nora woke at 1:00 and 4:30 to eat, and then conked right back out. I am so thankful for that particular blessing!

Yesterday, I had taken some time to write out some encouraging scriptures on index cards. The idea was that I'd tape them up in the kitchen/bathroom/bedroom/everywhere so that I could talk to myself instead of listening to myself when I started to get frustrated. They hadn't made it up yet today, and Phoebe had found them on the coffee table. She scattered them on the floor... and then fed one to Jake. I think he ate a Psalm. Perhaps he needed some fresh mercy this morning? I'm also thankful for that particular giggle today.

Right now, Nora's face is smooshed up against the side of the couch. I think I had forgotten how cute newborns are. I'm absolutely going to get myself a picture of this; here's to hoping she doesn't budge the second I cause some couch turbulence.

And since my brain hurts, I'm closing the lid of this laptop. I might snuggle this little cuddlebug after all...

Brief Notes

Today was our first day without any help... and nobody died. When I was teaching, our goal for the first day of school was always to just send the kids home alive; my goal for today was for me to make it to bedtime alive. And here we are.

I'm too tired to be eloquent or to go to the desktop to pull up some cute pictures of Nora. Here are a few notes on today, for posterity's sake:

• Nora likes to be held. A lot. She had a pretty fussy period from 9 to 12:30 this morning, but Mama's arms did the trick.
• I've eaten all kinds of crow with this second child. (More on that one another time.)
  
• I cried more than either of the girls today, and that's saying a lot. However, my crying was limited to the hours of 9 to 1:00.
  
• The afternoon was a lot better than the morning.
• Both girls miraculously napped at the same time for about an hour and a half.
  
• My MobyWrap came in the mail today, and Nora loves it. I think that I will love it too. (Remember that crow that I ate? This is some of it.)

I'd like to journal more, but I'm amazed that I'm still awake. So goodnight!

Home Sweet Home

It dawned on me today that I never updated this to tell you guys we were home. (We're home, by the way!) We were discharged from the hospital at around 2 on Thursday as we had hoped. It really is wonderful to be home together as a family; it has been quite the month! As I told Michael's mom a little bit ago -- we've been admitted to the hospital every week in October. We're trying to break that streak this week.

Being home has been an adjustment, though; in the hospital, you have this strange, surreal life and it always takes a few days to get out of that mode of operation. So add that to adjusting to life as a family of four, and it makes for quite the growing weekend!

We have been so blessed to have Mops here this week (and Pops since Saturday morning). Mom is the reason any of us have eaten, had clean clothes, or slept in the past few days. BIG thanks to her for taking the night shift with Nora for two nights so that we could get caught up on some of the extra sleep we lost in the hospital. My heart ached to see them go today, but I am so thankful for the time they were able to spend at our little house getting us back to "normal".

Right now, things are just plain quiet. Michael took Phoebe with him to run a few errands that just couldn't wait, and Nora is sleeping peacefully in her crib. I'm trying to relish this quiet while it lasts! Tomorrow will be my first day alone with the girls, so I'm sure that quiet will be at a premium!

I'm going to take advantage of this time while I've got it, so I'll close with a few pictures of both girls from the past few days. Coming soon -- a belated 19 month update on Phoebs and more about life with two!

Wednesday Evening

I'm trying to multitask while watching the debate... and it's a little more interesting than I thought it would be. Since I'm watching the debate and not Nora's vital signs, you can assume that things are going well. And you'd be right to assume so!

In the panel of tests run, an enterovirus was found in Nora's spinal fluid. Because I have had an enterovirus (hand, foot, and mouth), I have likely passed on my immunity to Nora. These viruses can be really, really dangerous in little ones; we are praising our gracious and sovereign God for her immunity! It's amazing to see how something so yucky to go through (Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease) can really be a measure of God's goodness. We are praising Him for His mercy in this situation.

Nora has remained fever-free throughout the day. She has also eaten fairly well, and has been more perky than she has ever been, having three distinct periods of awake time this afternoon. She's also shown a bit of feistiness when nurses poke her for vital signs, and we like her little bit of added pep.

The doctor has said that if she remains fever free tonight, no new symptoms show, and all of the bacterial cultures remain negative, we will get to go home tomorrow! Hooray! Hopefully our next post will not be from the hospital!