Lately

We have had some serious sleep issues around these parts, and it's made for a tired, frazzled Mama who literally couldn't wade through the laundry in the hallway until last night.  In spite of it, I've desperately tried to count my many blessings.  And it has been seriously desperate around here.  My mom was here Monday for a baby fix, and I am so unbelievably thankful that her visit was so Providentially Ordained, as I do believe her presence may have prevented me from jumping off a bridge or getting myself committed.

But things really (in spite of the no-sleep, no-nap thing that's been going on from someone small) have been rather delightful.

We're dressing up like robots, Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty, and Mary (who, today, gave birth to the Lamb of God, aka Lamby).

We're also selling our wares at market, although this market is special:  you buy, the seller gives you the goods AND the money. Today, chocolate chip muffins were on the menu.

We're washing dishes and earning our keep.

We're getting into everything.

We're watching ballets, meeting ballerinas, and talking nonstop about the Nutcracker Ballet (and oh, how Nora can hardly wait until she gets to go next year!).

We've gone on scavenger hunts for Tinkerbell, dressed Mommy (and Jake) with "zebra stripes", had sisters reading to sisters, listened to Nora say "oatmeal" in the cutest way possible, tinkered in the kitchen, snuggled up with Praise Baby, and tried to remain thankful in all things.

There have been moments over the last week or so that I've really felt at the end of myself.  I've struggled to speak kindly, to wash or fold laundry (I believe there's a load in the dryer lingering right now...), to love my husband, and to even get a reasonable meal on the table at a reasonable hour.  Add to that the responsibility of "Christmas" in general -- or at least what I was feeling like was my responsibility at Christmastime -- and I've been categorically overwhelmed.

And yet, isn't that what Christmas is for?  It's so easy for me to sanitize the coming of Emmanuel, and my brain has been going through a retraining this year.  He came to us because we could not come to Him, because we were (and are) at the end of ourselves.  And oh, how I need Emmanuel... not just at Christmas, but every single day, to be God with me.